Translate

Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Difference

Suddenly your there...
How I managed to shut my eyes 
And drown those thoughts away,
Is beyond me,
Something beyond.
I'll never know. 

Seeing with my own eyes
The difference... 

Through the cloud of smoke
Light verse dark 

You can believe without a trace of blood 
You can scream all your anger out
Give yourself no reason to live
But there's still an increasing amount 
Of love in you 
For all you cling too. 

What I would give... 
To make it work.

Seeing with your own eyes
The difference... 

Ambivalence

I was an addict
I still am
I came to the truth of this
Still wanting to feel
And feel less...
The way i use to drown  it out. 

Eyes awaken 
And fall fast asleep 
Behind the curtain
The only face I see...

Appears...  

My lungs are shallow
Breathe in deep 
To allow myself the energy 
There is a chance any day now
I won't feel the way i feel...

To enable my tolerance
I shatter the blind frames
In which you use to see through...
A picture shy of words
And my eyes never focused 
Seems the fear and I as one
And your love, the ambivalent

Help me to find this on my own
Because I know I'm going to be alone 
For a long time.
Help me to find the strength 
Not in these pills...

The vial is empty!

Help me to find the strength 

My prayer is unheard
My words, the addiction...

Friday, December 28, 2012

"Because I'll Live On In Those Tears"


Dryad of the woods
To be a myth there is no way back from loss 
Bound to the oak tree...
Inevitable grave. 

Unwritten will 

My roots here...
Pull at my heart strings 
Singing songs gently in my sleep. 

To love and mourn and love and mourn
The unison 
Of
Our eyes

Continued

Because l live on in those tears
A spiritual bonding...

I've finally found it... 
Life with meaning

Hypnotized 

Leaves like flesh on our bones 
To leave the earth...
Nature glimpses  
A prayer on it's way out...


Dryad of the woods
To be a myth there is no way back from loss 

Dear heavenly father... 
With love
All whom possess the spirit. 

Lives on in those tears.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Anomaly

It came over me in a fear of unique fate...
Try to push it under 
Different emotions and scattered things...
Dreams of us as children 
When you're weak you fade

I came clean and now I'm sober. 
When your strong the world is stable... 

Find a meaning and the urge is there...

Tell me which hand to shake
Which deal is most valuable 
Tell me what is real in my heart
As I fill the empty ventricles 

All things of the past will live on
As the anomaly deviates from the unexpected...
(The passionate vow)
I spend my time shaking the glob 
Watching snowflakes rise and fall 
To cycle... 

Once in my hair 
Now all have dissolved 
Somewhere underneath 
The stars are golden.

When you're weak you fade 
When your strong the world is stable... 

It came over me in a fear of unique fate...
Don't try to push it under 
Different emotions and scattered things...
Dreams of us as children 

When you're weak you fade.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Two Eternal


Enjoy being alone...
Enjoy loneliness 

Despite the fact
We're all alone 
Regardless. 

To love you deeply.
To love is two eternal... 

Hearts beating... 

When you leave me in the dark
I am in the dark to draw my own conclusions 

Enjoy being alone...
Enjoy loneliness. 


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Existential


Why spread the fire?
I know 
You are always there at my defense 
I use to question why 
The pain was always shadowed in such a way...
I could close my eyes
And you'd still be there... 

To feel anything
Just a fantasy...

Why spread the fire?
I know 
How things are and how things should be... 

5 years is a long time 
And there's no way not to dwell past it.

Of course I knew the answer 
The only way I could express 
If anyone is truly out there
To hear me out...

They'd know how bad I really need this...

Couldn't call a friend. 

But, no worse for the ware... 
Light up a cigarette 
A fire in my soul
Still the glass half empty 
A my heart in the cold. 

Learn to accept it...

Learn to live without 

Without...

Without... 

The pain was always obscured in such a way...
I could close my eyes
And you'd still be there ...

To feel anything
Just a memory from earth, on top of the clouds.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Brief


The universe is brief 
Thought I was safe
For one last smile, eyes open
To tears... 
From the big landscape
Reappear... 
Into cloudy world
No solution 
Only blind faith. 

I disobey myself 
Repeatedly... 

React centuries before my time. 

Sever the horoscope
For daily change 
You will make your own
When the time comes... 

I know you will... 
I know the fear... 

Honestly drowns in the lie. 
Because no one holds the truth... 

Which key will unlock the door
Is not the same key to the heart... 

As all will forsaken   

I disobey myself 
Repeatedly... 

... 

The universe is brief 
Thought I was safe. 

____

Photo By: MJ Maciejewski 


Monday, December 17, 2012

Retrace


The end we reached
Saw a whole lot of pain in me...

Uncovered and love repressed 
Always needing, yet unwanted...
EYES feeding 
Complicity;

Observing it all over again...

Lines in the sand

Skies nearing the grey
Yet gives way to blue...
As soul emotion fades
Every stars from here in the dark
Heart beating in reverse... 

As life is given back to me... 

Whispers heavy on the skin
Of all you are is all i need...
No fear, nothing possible...
Give me honesty... 

Give me something possible.

Every star is dark from here... 

Observing it all over again...

____

Photo By: MJ Maciejewski 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Unto Heaven

I walk straight through the door 
In my dreamlike state
Holding flowers to my heart 
From piles of ashes in the gold 
Winter night, 

It leaves you 
Cold unto heaven's walls
And the peace between two loving strangers 
Sunsets on different planes...

I argue with doubt 
Stare into beauty 
In mourning of what is not mine...
Becalm and flow 
Through the wind of all that is unknown 
Makes illusion 

From this shade of decadence 
I earn the right to dwell 
Speak from the heart with mostly faith. 
Out of the silences...

Again to void 
With all that is intrigue.

Borderline entry, 

I walk straight through the door 
In my dreamlike state
Holding flowers to my heart 
From piles of ashes in the gold 
Winter night.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Collective


Could you feel my prayers 
My thoughts, my words out loud 
My energy?

Profound in a way of mystery 
Blue in a state of grace 
Recurring 
Over and Over 

This one voice I know to be my own
Whispers...
Heavy in the heart of my emotions unknown... 

Stay with me, this purity of life, love
And the immortal soul 
Stay with me, beings of light

Ashes to ashes 
Body and mind.

Stay with me... 

Sometimes I think, if one day, you can see my energy
Materialized in front of you
Or maybe it's a story of impossible love... 

...

I was never away just too weak to function
When one hour from the next 
Doesn't make any difference... 
The value of the heart starts to decrease 

Like pennies in a drawer each one nearly worthless 
Some poetry in the midst of a binding unravels,
Some sort of magic in a world where hatred commands us. 
Something almost unexplained 
And perfect in it's own way. 

As we are.

What is good will always add up in the end. 

Profound in a way of mystery 
Blue in a state of grace 
Recurring 
Over and Over 

This one voice I know to be my own...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Deific

I will bath you in the moonlight 
Washed up on the shore of words and vibrations 
Slow motion sounds and your sweet release 
Clings to the very pulse of me
With lust, maddening 
Together, we make love with our words... 
To breathe the same air ; 

In death there's a spirit rising 
Searching for the one true path I had, 
The one friend who’s love was all I needed 
Flickering the light out that burns eternally... 

I confess my weakness 
I'm not shocked to learn this life refuses... 
Sees the light of hope and grace in your eyes... 
To hold me... 
To care for me… 

(To haunt me 
With another, meaningful gift 
I can't have...) 


But I won't falter. 
The urge is as strong as it ever was... 


To hold you, 
To care for you… 

Together, we make love with our words...