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Monday, February 25, 2013

Ghost (III) Limitations

I fight the odds of my silence, of my dependency  
I revolve around the night's endless display
The hours i have not slept before complete exhaustion fades
The ever blinding sun...

Do you believe in immortality?
Even the faintest cry will not be heard outside
My heart, if it wasn't from your eyes
I would never have known...

The prayers could be so strangely universal. 

To write to your beloved ghost...
Or leave the empty spaces when all goes wrong. 
Moonbeams of a promise left to limitations
Make the silence here, deprive me of darkness 
I am but in my shell, loved for the eternal bond
That breathes entirety, when life exceeds failure.
That breathes whole... when the flower reopens... 

I am but dead flowers...
Though they smell just as beautiful.

To write to your beloved ghost...


Saturday, February 23, 2013

Another Time


I swore to father that I would not shed another tear
Over the departed...
But that was another time...
A distant bell that rings in my village 
I never thought could feel so alone without... 

Different meanings of what she holds
Possess in my love 
I am still witness too.

Regardless of anything. 

I'd like to believe she still knows my love for her  
Beats in an extraordinary way
I like to believe a lot of things...
As far as I was concerned my time was over 

As bad news has a way of setting in.

...

I close my eyes, back to the TV
And cry... 
I pay little attention to, what I have
The well runs dry...

The well runs...

When the needle breaks 

My blood through, coarse veins. 


Friday, February 22, 2013

Crepuscular Light


(It's beyond light and dark but it's here forevermore)

I came to this place so solace in my web of blue
And departed without impulse to words...
The night was cast down before me, leaving no scent behind 
If only the whispers of mother earth, could be heard...
I left a pale embrace, amidst the long dark morning

And days of winter that were the only tears to return
Reminding me why my heart was beating...

Although the reasons were not clear... 
I was thrown into the emptiness 
Guided by a delicate hand...

Knowing nothing of my way...
Or paths to come
The pain was won significantly by declaring his love

I was it's final victory.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

THE PARADOX (III) "The Possible Truth"



On the verge of breakdown to expire your only rule
In time the leaves will cover the remaining truth...

I found you out there 
Bristles on all sides of a brush
Lean against the canvas to compromised art
You are not distinguished anymore...
The lines have changed
Your path lies on principle 

Dream are all that remain. 

You are no longer the perception of self
Looking into the bright day...

With persistent fear.

In the beginning there were no expectations 
Now the loss is the only thing keeping me in the state
 I've learned to heal
(Dreams are all that remain)
Arrange themselves from deep to superficial
Enough to slip further from the breaking point

And reach for despair... to understand  

Everything that is pure and good within
May hurt you, if you don't believe it can...

The most beautiful things do. 

...

I was chasing little lights in the skies 
Torn between my window frame and the forest  
Feet in the grass holding nothing but a book in my hand 
With it's own pulse, mine was neglected 
Captions to nostalgic letters, yearning 
Time is among one of the strangest things...

Some say one day can fulfill more than an entire lifetime 
But the burdens are merely ghosts, I can feel suffering. 

The constant contrast between who I am...
 And what the rest of the world believes is important.

On the verge of breakdown to expire your only rule
In time the leaves will cover the possible truth...

Monday, February 18, 2013

Wind Brushes

Land waits among the sea
Laughter after tears following... 
Just a word or thought among the heart
Resolve around the beat of nothing...
The snow is fine like sand of the desert
The wind is mild- hears me sing
The harmony aloud... 

Sweet memories in spirits connected.



Sunday, February 17, 2013

Hindsight


What more can be honored in the rose garden?
Sometimes we don't know why we're enamored 
By something, by someone, an old film 
Years before us... 
But it's there... 
Maybe just brings us closer to sanctuary...

To higher cause... 

In hindsight, I bought the flowers to accent the snow...
Just a little red in the orchard of solitude  

The picture comes together... 
The eyes travel, green to brown...
I wish all sides and corners of the earth were bent for me 
To spin on the heels of yesterdays rain...
Slip back into a dream, not a nightmare...

Make it all worth living again.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Ghost (II) Paralyzed Phantom

 
Cold does not feel cold anymore...
Though never numb to my emotion.

Something's remain to be seen...
Out of focus...

Words truly... unfulfilled.

To open a feather from the hand of God...
Slowly drifts from the sky into the ocean
Ascends to the clouds and down again
Never to return but never lost.

Within this blind faith I cast away, the darkest thoughts
But only for a brief, window...

Never have I felt this way...
Never have I written with more devotion
To feel as one without ever knowing

Everything reminds me I'm not alone
While she's in my heart
And I in her's...

 
The logic melts away... the confusion burning
A paradox unorganized on the table
Reason to a earthly prayer... united.

As lightening strikes the Vatican twice.

I don't want to be invisible any longer...
Set to self destruct
Someday, maybe it becomes that apparent 
Either way I am to suffer to figure out...

Are we ever through comprehending?
What we feel the need to leave before
The after;

Meanwhile always a Ghost
All eyes elusive...
Stuck in between
The human and the emotional...
Paralyzed phantom.

To open a feather from the hand of God...

Monday, February 11, 2013

Ghost (I) Sacred Hill

I want to see beyond the wall 
To see under the picture frames as a ghost...
I started laughing to learn
It was hardly a vision outside my window
Cloaked in red,
Maybe just some light exposure... 

Purring over the sacred hill
As of ashes to the overcast sky...
Tree limbs lurching in the wind 
To make the fright unknown odyssey...

The world is even more terrifying than you believe... 

To see the boy I was growing old
His life needs no caption 
Look into the eyes of my child...
Escape all through the decades 
Before he was even alive...
A pulse was permanent nature

The universe was profound.

Father will hide all his fear
Mother will comfort me until I sleep...

I remember so vivid 
The many mysteries unexplained.

I want to see beyond the wall 
To see under the picture frames as my ghost...

Friday, February 8, 2013

Universal Influence (III) "Nine"

Maybe words are often used 
To depict, describe and to dream
The colors of a much brighter existence.
Maybe rain will fall doubt on all actions.
No promise in the world 
Only faith; 
Second hand... 

Tears are universal.

Love may feel the depth inside
Though to be true, in truth defined.
I believe so desperately 
The influence like a prayer
Forever is meant
As a part of the flowers, the river, the trees 
The clouds above into space... 

You may ask yourself what is the significance?

Do all created things have meaning?

Maybe words are seldom used... 

Universal Influence (II) "Branch of the Earth"

Everything bought was in red.

Just removed the anchor that supported my weight 
I use to be light here, in the air
A pollen drifting to the nearest 
Branch of the earth...
Land is a endless display of his work...
I try to request a sentiment to hold in my hands
Maybe just an old record
Reach into the box...
 Give me the first thing that you take. 

Nature; a quiet resting place, for me to call out my indifference's 
It hurts, sometimes so much so...
There's no air to breathe.
What is persistent, is the sorrow
All around me, miles away, above 
Stand tall, don't look down...
It's buried furthermore 

A broken timepiece anyhow. 


Universal Influence (I) "Expressed by a Sign"

Winter's hand 
Cold and shaking in the view of night
I don't need to feel so lost and hopeless...
But I always have.... 
Outside there are people who know how we feel
We're never less than we think we are...

My heart is but a train rushing down the tracks
There's something, in the way. Someone.
In my dream it is I who is there
Frozen in the headlights of my own heart breaking

Repeatedly. 

The time is sure to be a consequence.
In the moments that I have kept my ritual, dear to me
I have never forgotten all the love that fills the air...
Just in the depth of a secluded crowd 
I reach out my hand
Only to disappear... and disappear again

This shrouded nightmare, signified. 


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Stardust



It is in my heart to be at unison.
Elizabeth was a great name for an old town
One mountain grows flowers up there
Not a soul to see the stardust. 
The winter freeze on bloodhill
Recalls a healthy child in a red house

Open the windows leave the flower scent here.
To modest to accept the compliment 
Without a certain smile to reflect
The innocence...

Rain on my skin
Tears absolved

The sweet tenderness. 

To others this would be foreign land
The grain of the earth
Rocks between the riverbed.
The sound of the water sleeps 
To closed eyes 
Another peace exists 
Tranquility 

To eyes wide open.

My gaze is left on a black petal 
Frozen in time upon that mountain

Not a soul to see the stardust. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Shade of the Void

Wish this was another garden view 
Something for you and I.
I remember driving through the rain
Simply to reconnect with melancholy.
Just another dried up flower 
Refusing to bloom 
Just another cloud above the sun 
In the shade of the void 

All consuming.

I came to panic yesterday 
Another waste of the race 
On you...
See through faces;
Turn of the page
Cover me in the dust my name covers.

Unbind the book before.
Carefully... carefully 

We do not get paid for anything we love doing.

Our hearts near to be 
I can hear it loud and clear 
When I alone
Deprived of entirety... 

Sorry we need this time to be alone
When I alone
Fall carelessly into 
That shade of the void

Most of the time I think,
Our emotions are what's weighing us.
When the nightfall comes 
I turn to ghosts...

There is a sign in the northern light.

Which staircase connects, ascending high 
No other shadows...

When the nightfall comes 
I may not be, all that I came to be...

Wasted life, 
Wasted height above the earth's floor.

Wish this was another Gardenland 
Something for you and I.
I remember driving through the rain
Simply to reconnect with melancholy.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Sound Before


This lonely track, one way
From dismal, art.
Blood red ink exposed rusted bones
No need to... feel too inclined to 
Overcome...
Comfort the insanity. 

Stronger now in the dust.
Shapes of gray and disassociated words  
To save the silence from lack of compassion.
Dream on in desperation... 

Enchantment will harmonize with nature. 
Spiritual sole; 
Bound to the love we give and are given...  

The end will fade from the end, 
There is no sign on the big screen
(High up in the clouds)
Pages will flutter in the wind
No one will remember...

Some music still plays in the background 
A soulful decrease  
The loss of feeling...

The sound before the sound
Before... 

Ljudet Innan 

This lonely track, one way
Of dismal, art.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wait to Feel


Vibration Hearts
The calm before the storm
To lie awake in void
Wanting to steal a gaze 
A smile to ensue the wind
And cast off vast, into sleep.

Summer breeze, I tap my feet.
Rest my head on your shoulder 
Wait to feel.
Every single emotion that follows 

Two visions of one tree, a grave 
Through rain and fields of Garland    
Wait to feel.
All panic dissolve in that moment. 

Nothing but harmony 

Words to our...

Hearts Vibration. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

High Altars

High altar
A permit silver lining 
To leave a mark
Unveil the bewildered sun

You lay in the shade 
Across the absence 
Now the pressure calm
Can wait til morning 

Can wait above
High altars

A solitary glimpse
Into the hourglass again...
Despair 
All that remains of the sand 
Has emptied 
Further 
Into my hands 
Our fragile time in life.

All that remains of the sand 
Has emptied 
Further 
Into my hands 

As light as a feather 
Through each finger 

Our fragile time in life.

For all that’s created 
Knows their path, may never return. 
For all whose faith is shattered 
May never inspire these words.

Each little piece of sand 
Collected 
Is added to another vessel 
The same solitary soul to carry ashore 
The light is here and it's far 
Over in a instance;
Eyes begin to swell 
The tears for all of us.

Stay connected  

Our fragile time in life.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Horizons

Scarify11 © Alec Wildey 


A fine horizon of lies...
It's course awaits, to numb to breathe 
I fall through the floorboards 
The pavement,
The rain through the cracks 
Like stepping stones

I never learned the way... 

After all these years of fighting disease 
Fighting doubt, myself, the pain.... 
The fear ultimately wins... 

I suppose there is no understanding 
There is no amount of guilt, greater than
To hurt someone you love. 

I need time to work it out. 
Need to learn to let it go... 
See the horizon as one.

Like stepping stones

I never learned the way... 

...

You would belong in every sky that has seen the sun
Disappear into the nightfall
And every past would feel complete
When your thoughts came trembling inside...

I will always, love you. 

Saturday, January 26, 2013

THE PARADOX (II) "Haven"

Home is just over the hillside 
Past the train tracks through the village... 
It's a quaint town 
The normal's all seem to blend in...

I dry my hands of the cold dew 
Lean against the old tree 
The tallest one in the park is made of oak
Left my initials on the burial ground 
Next time they will be gone...

I have not seen enough of this world
I have not learned enough
What seems impossible to understand...
Seems the more I cry, the more I feel...
I know it's clinical.
But if you watch the news
Or have been to the slums 
If you have any heart at all
It will break right in two...

Call me insignificant 
Call me a dreamer, call me hopeless;
Call me your friend 
Call me your enemy, call me pessimistic...

There are plenty of ways to make known hatred.

Seems the more I cry, the more I feel
I know it's not secular.
There is more to life than that...

Friday, January 25, 2013

THE PARADOX (I) "Sentiment"


I don't know how it all started
Though I try to recall...
My life as a child
In the wilderness of my soul
Sometimes life gets broken
But not beyond repair 

I think of all those nights I heard the trains
While I laid in bed
Half awake half asleep...
While school was just another place
I never wanted to be...
All those memories of being an anxious teen
Were somehow saved by love and by grace 

The music of Porcupine Tree...

I can still see the sunlight
On a beautiful day in spring
The year was 2005
Every pathway was golden
Lead me to believe I was getting stronger

Maybe even start remission... 

Then I finished The Purpose 
And felt I myself had my own 
I had never seen the world like the others
Maybe it was a curse 
I didn't fit in the crowd.

Sometimes life gets broken 
But not beyond repair... 

All these lullabies leading astray 
Somehow brought me to you...
The Paradox 
As love flourished  
Still beating as strong as it were
As everything beautiful should have felt

There were nights I tried not to dwell on it
Because I didn't know how to react... 
It's hard enough not knowing my world
When there's another I can't live. 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

New Definition

Reach the water to this planet
And from
Out of the river  
Bring through the current
Find me out... new definition 
Higher cause 

Of being and of God.

This life doesn't seem know me... 
And I don't seem to know myself
How will this end?
Where do we go from here?
I am incomplete without you
My better half
Significant mend...

Slowly breaking off... 

Paint my waters reflection
Blur it along down this stream
Scattered aquamarine 
Loneliness 
I do not belong here.

Pain him with all the burdens
He does not know well enough
How good he has it...
How devastating the loss... 
If ever the love was real

The pain truly was. 

The blood feels alien 
Warm on my skin
The tears of watercolor 
Paint what cannot be seen.

Reach the water to this planet
And from
Out of the river  
Bring through the current
Find me out... new definition 
Higher cause 

Of being and of God.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Synchronicity


I wanted to be one of those lights
Divine in the race for simplicity 
I know out of body 
Means nothing to fear
Nothing to hide 
When my own eyes led me this way
I believe without even a sign 

There is no other...

Alone is alone
Enough is enough
You still have yourself 
Learn to work it out... 
Accept the rarity of life
Under the circumstance; 
You can be your own master
Or your own worst enemy 

These thoughts I hate...
But i understand... 
Maybe I'm not happy either way...
But still I can suffer...
I may only suffer
And when I've suffered enough
Maybe I'll get what i prayed for? 

No one knows...

...

I hear the rain hitting the water
From a day in spring 2 years ago
Don't know what it was...
Maybe a lifeboat in those sequenced hours 
Screaming in the dark

All was quiet 

I was numb.

Nothing is simple 
I didn't believe it could be 

Why else would I fill my glass full of rain
To take those pills...
Those fucking pills never did anything. 

So dumb it down and numb yourself down
 Another way...
Would hope to kill me 

Can't even put me to sleep. 

Don't forget that precious cat cry
In the morning when she nudges your face 
Never far from... 

Synchronicity.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Watercolour


Walking the narrow plank
With nothing to hold onto 
Ghostly, yet still afraid
I feel I won't ever materialize... 
I cannot see my body, in the flesh
Maybe I'm not human...
Maybe I was never there.

The sailboats grace ashore 
The romance of a watercolor 
I see the little child waving
His father home... 

A perfect moment forever captured. 

Is there no more laughter here 
For them to sing...?
No more sunrise to be seen? 
I sing into a thunderstorm.
The wind is sweet. 

Love is like a harp 
Difficult to learn but a beautiful sound...
 The piano plays their farewells 
But in the end it always echoes 
The essence of their harmony...

Never apart 
Yet separated; 

Tears fall into the watercolor.

Walking the narrow plank
With nothing to hold onto 

Ghost like, yet still afraid
I feel I won't ever, materialize... 


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Remain Divine Mystery

Hand to God
Words to Grace
If you open up a little more 
If you try harder 
You will see the one you ought to be...
You will see him. 

I said these words about a thousand times
But nothing made sense until you came into my life...
Until you arrive,
I've died about as many times...
I've said those words 

And it takes all the soul to live and to love,
To be 
And to stay here...

...

Yes, I still sleep upright...
But it's okay.
No, you're never here...
But I'm not afraid. 

Hand to God
Words to Grace

If you open up a little more 
If you try harder 
You will see the one you ought to be...
You will see him. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

One With Them

No more mornings... no more clouds and heavy eyelids.
Mourning, won't you let me die?


Emptiness fills me...
A quiet bed I made for myself
There's no murder outside 
Except the crows 
You were always 
As dark and one with them. 

You shelter me into the ground
Cloaked in black and red.

Their eyes reflected through mine 
Torn apart, bruised in flesh. 


...


Still hurts to be rejected 
On the outside something missing
That you would give... 
Almost anything to have.

On the outside someones there
That you would give anything 
To have them know
Your hearts still beating... 
Your not alone.

...

We planted the seeds for generations 

Watched them grow now dead flowers from our past 
We hung the ornaments on Holidays 
Removed all commercial 
meaning 


Sundays came and went. 
Our eyes teared and wept. 

And you have ascended, the risen 

While I have 
Descended the deepness.
No place left for me to fail.

No more mornings... 

No more clouds and heavy eyelids.

-Mourning, 


Won't you let me fade away?

Name Within

Walk through the door
Incense burns 
Stain glass patterns on my arm
Windows closed... 
Blue up above  

And your still there
With me or without

Blue up above  

The stare case of Saint Mary.
Eyes still fixed on candlelight altars 
Never knowing what to say... 

Now the dust speaks on it's own
Floats through the air across the sun
Breathing like a child
To blow it away... 
But more aware of the world
And the pain that's behind all human

The pain behind a prayer. 

Breathing like a child
To blow it away.

... 

Think of a pleasant place to rest
Where we won't have to hear the voices
Where we won't hear each-other think.
You can see the space between each binding
And the effect the words had on me.
Under the elder tree 
There is plenty of time to listen
Plenty of time to read....

But I always end up writing.

Our family bible has our name within...

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Infinite Regress



Some days it's just so fucking difficult
And others it beyond any magic 
I could have conceived...
We make no life on our own
I make no life... 

Yet I breathe. 

Still the images of after 
Hold in an album titled the name of a past book...
Arose from the ashes 
Born from the heart...
I'll die another day I'm certain...
I'll live through this 
I'm sure.

No one really knows.

The art of the human being
The complexity of love 
We all want to reach...
Sometimes more than others
I need to cry to find peace.
To feel real.

And understand 
What is really going on inside me 
What is wrong... 
Maybe I can change.

Some days it's just so fucking difficult
And others it beyond any magic 
I could have conceived...
We make no life on our own
I make no life... 

Yet I breathe. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Campanas Distantes


Hollow voice 
Sometimes calls...
Still the sirens...
Hear the distant bells
Synchronized 
The street noise,

Her broken English... 

The Christmas snow is melting 
So in my heart...
To pull at the strings forever 
I have no more to give...
I am so far from knowing...

How does anyone survive this? 

Why do we torture ourselves?

My love it flows continuous...

I just break down, get overwhelmed 
My heart still listens... 

Hear the distant bells
The hollow voice
Synchronized 

The poems between...

... 

At night I close my eyes and see your affectionate smile towards me...
A gleam that gives the whole world new meaning.
I run my fingers through your hair and I hold your chin to my palm...
I kiss your sweet lips and I never wake up... 


Friday, January 11, 2013

The Picture Negative




The pain he speaks of is of her.
The wake is unimportant
The need to feel safe... yet free from the future 
That doesn't need to start or stop...
As long as we're nowhere...

I never want to give up. 

The death of sirens, continues 
To encounter me in my dreams
And awaken the less imaginative 

I pay my respects... 
Send my regards
I open the door... 
But the wind still blows right through

If I worry because i think to much,
There is no way to comfort that.
If i'm sorry because I can't be fulfilled 
I won't forgive myself no matter what

The picture is a negative.  

I hold in my hands
Right up to the light 
But the dark is still dark
And the words are still grey.. 

... 

I slept peacefully... 


A walk through the valley in the forest near my house

I was a child, just eleven 
As innocent as the rain was cold...

On my skin...

I remember falling
But the tears didn't come from this...
The sky was beauty 
A kiss on my neck... 
Her name I hadn't known
But her face I'll never forget...

I was a child, just eleven.
As innocent as the rain was cold...

In the spring...

I slept peacefully then.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Forsake me or Forsaken

It's the kind of alone I don't know how
To live with or without
Forsake me or forsaken... 

Reflection through sharp glass
The chill of a prison cell
Illuminates me in the dark
Troubled times I find it hard
To do my part...
To make my mark

Fill the void hollow inside
Fill it empty...

Please don't wake me up
Don't let my mind drift off
Any further
I am cold to the touch
I am broken... 
I am no one. 

Please help me understand that
So I don't lose faith
Ask nothing of me...
I will give back just the same
Surprise is not worth knowing
Mystery is everything. 

The kind of alone I don't know how
To live with or without

Forsake me or forsaken... 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Essential

Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?
A different feeling in my soul
Nothing is right that can't be absolved 
Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?

Through these blockade doors
Secluded rooms... 
Slowly drown the needle once 
Removed from everything
Different sorrows 
A violent remorse 
Different colours 
Of a winter's dawn.

I hear the essence 
I feel it too...
What remains to be seen 
Is blind
Like the faith we've always known
I hear the essence 
I feel it too...

Something strong and vibrant 
When the world is lost. 

Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?
A different feeling in my soul
Nothing is right that can't be absolved 
Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?

___

Lyrics: Alec Wildey 
Written from Domenic Piscitelli on guitar 


Friday, January 4, 2013

Winter Red


Go through the door with no exit sign 
Reach the tears before the breakdown 
The clouds above are filled with snowfall
Ignoring the dismal outcome...

No warmth in the chill 
To search for comfort in you... 
No prayer 
The red of the heart,
The sky,
And violence...

The skin is bruised and scared
From believing in the past
To not suffer anymore...
The future remains 
Unlikely...

Don't need to wake 
(From scene to scene, 
The winter red,
In and out of frames... )
 For no audience... 

Reach the tears before the breakdown 
The clouds above are filled with snowfall
Ignoring the dismal outcome...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

To the Pendulum

I have seen the cities 
I have buried them deep in my mind 
Soulless surroundings
Not one among the crowd...

I do not like the idea of a new year
It is too much to dwell...

Too much to conceive on my own. 
We're getting wiser  

Meanwhile people drown themselves 
Don't know how to stay afloat 
And happiness I keep inside 
Even, while my heart beats love...

And the lack of. 
I am crushed...

Can't keep these walls from breaking 
Can't keep my soul from praying...
Countless words
Hearts beating to the pendulum...  

Unworthy.. unwilling...
Afraid and lost... 

Time is just another way to mark it down. 

Two thousand thirteen 
However long...