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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wait to Feel


Vibration Hearts
The calm before the storm
To lie awake in void
Wanting to steal a gaze 
A smile to ensue the wind
And cast off vast, into sleep.

Summer breeze, I tap my feet.
Rest my head on your shoulder 
Wait to feel.
Every single emotion that follows 

Two visions of one tree, a grave 
Through rain and fields of Garland    
Wait to feel.
All panic dissolve in that moment. 

Nothing but harmony 

Words to our...

Hearts Vibration. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

High Altars

High altar
A permit silver lining 
To leave a mark
Unveil the bewildered sun

You lay in the shade 
Across the absence 
Now the pressure calm
Can wait til morning 

Can wait above
High altars

A solitary glimpse
Into the hourglass again...
Despair 
All that remains of the sand 
Has emptied 
Further 
Into my hands 
Our fragile time in life.

All that remains of the sand 
Has emptied 
Further 
Into my hands 

As light as a feather 
Through each finger 

Our fragile time in life.

For all that’s created 
Knows their path, may never return. 
For all whose faith is shattered 
May never inspire these words.

Each little piece of sand 
Collected 
Is added to another vessel 
The same solitary soul to carry ashore 
The light is here and it's far 
Over in a instance;
Eyes begin to swell 
The tears for all of us.

Stay connected  

Our fragile time in life.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Horizons

Scarify11 © Alec Wildey 


A fine horizon of lies...
It's course awaits, to numb to breathe 
I fall through the floorboards 
The pavement,
The rain through the cracks 
Like stepping stones

I never learned the way... 

After all these years of fighting disease 
Fighting doubt, myself, the pain.... 
The fear ultimately wins... 

I suppose there is no understanding 
There is no amount of guilt, greater than
To hurt someone you love. 

I need time to work it out. 
Need to learn to let it go... 
See the horizon as one.

Like stepping stones

I never learned the way... 

...

You would belong in every sky that has seen the sun
Disappear into the nightfall
And every past would feel complete
When your thoughts came trembling inside...

I will always, love you. 

Saturday, January 26, 2013

THE PARADOX (II) "Haven"

Home is just over the hillside 
Past the train tracks through the village... 
It's a quaint town 
The normal's all seem to blend in...

I dry my hands of the cold dew 
Lean against the old tree 
The tallest one in the park is made of oak
Left my initials on the burial ground 
Next time they will be gone...

I have not seen enough of this world
I have not learned enough
What seems impossible to understand...
Seems the more I cry, the more I feel...
I know it's clinical.
But if you watch the news
Or have been to the slums 
If you have any heart at all
It will break right in two...

Call me insignificant 
Call me a dreamer, call me hopeless;
Call me your friend 
Call me your enemy, call me pessimistic...

There are plenty of ways to make known hatred.

Seems the more I cry, the more I feel
I know it's not secular.
There is more to life than that...

Friday, January 25, 2013

THE PARADOX (I) "Sentiment"


I don't know how it all started
Though I try to recall...
My life as a child
In the wilderness of my soul
Sometimes life gets broken
But not beyond repair 

I think of all those nights I heard the trains
While I laid in bed
Half awake half asleep...
While school was just another place
I never wanted to be...
All those memories of being an anxious teen
Were somehow saved by love and by grace 

The music of Porcupine Tree...

I can still see the sunlight
On a beautiful day in spring
The year was 2005
Every pathway was golden
Lead me to believe I was getting stronger

Maybe even start remission... 

Then I finished The Purpose 
And felt I myself had my own 
I had never seen the world like the others
Maybe it was a curse 
I didn't fit in the crowd.

Sometimes life gets broken 
But not beyond repair... 

All these lullabies leading astray 
Somehow brought me to you...
The Paradox 
As love flourished  
Still beating as strong as it were
As everything beautiful should have felt

There were nights I tried not to dwell on it
Because I didn't know how to react... 
It's hard enough not knowing my world
When there's another I can't live. 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

New Definition

Reach the water to this planet
And from
Out of the river  
Bring through the current
Find me out... new definition 
Higher cause 

Of being and of God.

This life doesn't seem know me... 
And I don't seem to know myself
How will this end?
Where do we go from here?
I am incomplete without you
My better half
Significant mend...

Slowly breaking off... 

Paint my waters reflection
Blur it along down this stream
Scattered aquamarine 
Loneliness 
I do not belong here.

Pain him with all the burdens
He does not know well enough
How good he has it...
How devastating the loss... 
If ever the love was real

The pain truly was. 

The blood feels alien 
Warm on my skin
The tears of watercolor 
Paint what cannot be seen.

Reach the water to this planet
And from
Out of the river  
Bring through the current
Find me out... new definition 
Higher cause 

Of being and of God.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Synchronicity


I wanted to be one of those lights
Divine in the race for simplicity 
I know out of body 
Means nothing to fear
Nothing to hide 
When my own eyes led me this way
I believe without even a sign 

There is no other...

Alone is alone
Enough is enough
You still have yourself 
Learn to work it out... 
Accept the rarity of life
Under the circumstance; 
You can be your own master
Or your own worst enemy 

These thoughts I hate...
But i understand... 
Maybe I'm not happy either way...
But still I can suffer...
I may only suffer
And when I've suffered enough
Maybe I'll get what i prayed for? 

No one knows...

...

I hear the rain hitting the water
From a day in spring 2 years ago
Don't know what it was...
Maybe a lifeboat in those sequenced hours 
Screaming in the dark

All was quiet 

I was numb.

Nothing is simple 
I didn't believe it could be 

Why else would I fill my glass full of rain
To take those pills...
Those fucking pills never did anything. 

So dumb it down and numb yourself down
 Another way...
Would hope to kill me 

Can't even put me to sleep. 

Don't forget that precious cat cry
In the morning when she nudges your face 
Never far from... 

Synchronicity.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Watercolour


Walking the narrow plank
With nothing to hold onto 
Ghostly, yet still afraid
I feel I won't ever materialize... 
I cannot see my body, in the flesh
Maybe I'm not human...
Maybe I was never there.

The sailboats grace ashore 
The romance of a watercolor 
I see the little child waving
His father home... 

A perfect moment forever captured. 

Is there no more laughter here 
For them to sing...?
No more sunrise to be seen? 
I sing into a thunderstorm.
The wind is sweet. 

Love is like a harp 
Difficult to learn but a beautiful sound...
 The piano plays their farewells 
But in the end it always echoes 
The essence of their harmony...

Never apart 
Yet separated; 

Tears fall into the watercolor.

Walking the narrow plank
With nothing to hold onto 

Ghost like, yet still afraid
I feel I won't ever, materialize... 


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Remain Divine Mystery

Hand to God
Words to Grace
If you open up a little more 
If you try harder 
You will see the one you ought to be...
You will see him. 

I said these words about a thousand times
But nothing made sense until you came into my life...
Until you arrive,
I've died about as many times...
I've said those words 

And it takes all the soul to live and to love,
To be 
And to stay here...

...

Yes, I still sleep upright...
But it's okay.
No, you're never here...
But I'm not afraid. 

Hand to God
Words to Grace

If you open up a little more 
If you try harder 
You will see the one you ought to be...
You will see him. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

One With Them

No more mornings... no more clouds and heavy eyelids.
Mourning, won't you let me die?


Emptiness fills me...
A quiet bed I made for myself
There's no murder outside 
Except the crows 
You were always 
As dark and one with them. 

You shelter me into the ground
Cloaked in black and red.

Their eyes reflected through mine 
Torn apart, bruised in flesh. 


...


Still hurts to be rejected 
On the outside something missing
That you would give... 
Almost anything to have.

On the outside someones there
That you would give anything 
To have them know
Your hearts still beating... 
Your not alone.

...

We planted the seeds for generations 

Watched them grow now dead flowers from our past 
We hung the ornaments on Holidays 
Removed all commercial 
meaning 


Sundays came and went. 
Our eyes teared and wept. 

And you have ascended, the risen 

While I have 
Descended the deepness.
No place left for me to fail.

No more mornings... 

No more clouds and heavy eyelids.

-Mourning, 


Won't you let me fade away?

Name Within

Walk through the door
Incense burns 
Stain glass patterns on my arm
Windows closed... 
Blue up above  

And your still there
With me or without

Blue up above  

The stare case of Saint Mary.
Eyes still fixed on candlelight altars 
Never knowing what to say... 

Now the dust speaks on it's own
Floats through the air across the sun
Breathing like a child
To blow it away... 
But more aware of the world
And the pain that's behind all human

The pain behind a prayer. 

Breathing like a child
To blow it away.

... 

Think of a pleasant place to rest
Where we won't have to hear the voices
Where we won't hear each-other think.
You can see the space between each binding
And the effect the words had on me.
Under the elder tree 
There is plenty of time to listen
Plenty of time to read....

But I always end up writing.

Our family bible has our name within...

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Infinite Regress



Some days it's just so fucking difficult
And others it beyond any magic 
I could have conceived...
We make no life on our own
I make no life... 

Yet I breathe. 

Still the images of after 
Hold in an album titled the name of a past book...
Arose from the ashes 
Born from the heart...
I'll die another day I'm certain...
I'll live through this 
I'm sure.

No one really knows.

The art of the human being
The complexity of love 
We all want to reach...
Sometimes more than others
I need to cry to find peace.
To feel real.

And understand 
What is really going on inside me 
What is wrong... 
Maybe I can change.

Some days it's just so fucking difficult
And others it beyond any magic 
I could have conceived...
We make no life on our own
I make no life... 

Yet I breathe. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Campanas Distantes


Hollow voice 
Sometimes calls...
Still the sirens...
Hear the distant bells
Synchronized 
The street noise,

Her broken English... 

The Christmas snow is melting 
So in my heart...
To pull at the strings forever 
I have no more to give...
I am so far from knowing...

How does anyone survive this? 

Why do we torture ourselves?

My love it flows continuous...

I just break down, get overwhelmed 
My heart still listens... 

Hear the distant bells
The hollow voice
Synchronized 

The poems between...

... 

At night I close my eyes and see your affectionate smile towards me...
A gleam that gives the whole world new meaning.
I run my fingers through your hair and I hold your chin to my palm...
I kiss your sweet lips and I never wake up... 


Friday, January 11, 2013

The Picture Negative




The pain he speaks of is of her.
The wake is unimportant
The need to feel safe... yet free from the future 
That doesn't need to start or stop...
As long as we're nowhere...

I never want to give up. 

The death of sirens, continues 
To encounter me in my dreams
And awaken the less imaginative 

I pay my respects... 
Send my regards
I open the door... 
But the wind still blows right through

If I worry because i think to much,
There is no way to comfort that.
If i'm sorry because I can't be fulfilled 
I won't forgive myself no matter what

The picture is a negative.  

I hold in my hands
Right up to the light 
But the dark is still dark
And the words are still grey.. 

... 

I slept peacefully... 


A walk through the valley in the forest near my house

I was a child, just eleven 
As innocent as the rain was cold...

On my skin...

I remember falling
But the tears didn't come from this...
The sky was beauty 
A kiss on my neck... 
Her name I hadn't known
But her face I'll never forget...

I was a child, just eleven.
As innocent as the rain was cold...

In the spring...

I slept peacefully then.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Forsake me or Forsaken

It's the kind of alone I don't know how
To live with or without
Forsake me or forsaken... 

Reflection through sharp glass
The chill of a prison cell
Illuminates me in the dark
Troubled times I find it hard
To do my part...
To make my mark

Fill the void hollow inside
Fill it empty...

Please don't wake me up
Don't let my mind drift off
Any further
I am cold to the touch
I am broken... 
I am no one. 

Please help me understand that
So I don't lose faith
Ask nothing of me...
I will give back just the same
Surprise is not worth knowing
Mystery is everything. 

The kind of alone I don't know how
To live with or without

Forsake me or forsaken... 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Essential

Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?
A different feeling in my soul
Nothing is right that can't be absolved 
Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?

Through these blockade doors
Secluded rooms... 
Slowly drown the needle once 
Removed from everything
Different sorrows 
A violent remorse 
Different colours 
Of a winter's dawn.

I hear the essence 
I feel it too...
What remains to be seen 
Is blind
Like the faith we've always known
I hear the essence 
I feel it too...

Something strong and vibrant 
When the world is lost. 

Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?
A different feeling in my soul
Nothing is right that can't be absolved 
Oh don't you hear me now...
Don't you see
Me?

___

Lyrics: Alec Wildey 
Written from Domenic Piscitelli on guitar 


Friday, January 4, 2013

Winter Red


Go through the door with no exit sign 
Reach the tears before the breakdown 
The clouds above are filled with snowfall
Ignoring the dismal outcome...

No warmth in the chill 
To search for comfort in you... 
No prayer 
The red of the heart,
The sky,
And violence...

The skin is bruised and scared
From believing in the past
To not suffer anymore...
The future remains 
Unlikely...

Don't need to wake 
(From scene to scene, 
The winter red,
In and out of frames... )
 For no audience... 

Reach the tears before the breakdown 
The clouds above are filled with snowfall
Ignoring the dismal outcome...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

To the Pendulum

I have seen the cities 
I have buried them deep in my mind 
Soulless surroundings
Not one among the crowd...

I do not like the idea of a new year
It is too much to dwell...

Too much to conceive on my own. 
We're getting wiser  

Meanwhile people drown themselves 
Don't know how to stay afloat 
And happiness I keep inside 
Even, while my heart beats love...

And the lack of. 
I am crushed...

Can't keep these walls from breaking 
Can't keep my soul from praying...
Countless words
Hearts beating to the pendulum...  

Unworthy.. unwilling...
Afraid and lost... 

Time is just another way to mark it down. 

Two thousand thirteen 
However long...